Giving Our Power Away – Part I

There comes a moment in every man’s life when he realizes… he’s been giving his power away.

Dear Brother,

As I reflect on my life—as I so often do—I see clearly that the greatest source of my suffering has been this:

Giving my power away.

To people.

To my environment.

To external circumstances I thought had control over me.

My greatest fear has always been feeling powerless. And in my ignorance, I sought power where it could never be found—outside of myself. I didn’t know that true power comes from within.

Learning to Stand in My Power

Through deep meditation, Qi Gong, and working with Carl Jung’s energy archetypes, I’ve started to reclaim what I once gave away. I’ve done this with the guidance of a powerful mentor who introduced me to twelve universal archetypes that continue to reshape my inner landscape.

One of those archetypes is the Rebel. And to be honest—I’ve feared him. I feared being disliked. I feared rocking the boat. So I silenced myself. I held back. I played small.

Rather than overturn what wasn’t working in my life, I became a chronic people-pleaser. And in doing so… I lost who I was as a man.

Eight Ways I Gave Away My Power

In a recent period of introspection, I wrote down eight ways I’ve historically given my power away—and how I’m now learning to stand in my inner power and live as my true Self.

Today, I’ll share the first four. The next four will come in Part II, next week.

1. Needing Love to Feel Whole

I entered into one codependent relationship after another. I so desperately needed to be loved that I sacrificed my authenticity for approval. But that wasn’t love—it was conditional love.The kind I learned growing up: Fit into others’ expectations, and you’ll feel loved.

When I’m in my power, I can love without needing anything in return. That’s Divine Love. That’s freedom. It starts with learning to love ourselves unconditionally.

2. Craving External Validation

For years, I begged others—especially women—to tell me I was a good man. Because deep down… I didn’t believe I was.

Now, when I’m standing in my power, I don’t mind what others think. Because I know who I Am.

I am a soul that can never be hurt or destroyed. I don’t need external validation. That, brother, is real freedom.

3. Losing Control of My Emotions

I used to suppress my emotions until they exploded—usually as rage, and usually directed at myself.

Sound familiar?

I’m learning to be the calm within the storm. Not by stuffing things down, but by allowing my emotions to move through me in a healthy way. I don’t always get it right—but I’m getting better.

The boy inside me was taught it wasn’t safe to feel. That little boy suffered in silence. And that silence nearly destroyed me.

Now, I’m giving him a voice. And with that voice comes healing.

4. Trying to Fit a Mold

I tried so hard to be who my family, religion, and society told me to be. But no matter what, I never quite measured up.

So I drank.

Heavily.

To numb the pain of not belonging.

The blackouts were a form of escape. But they only deepened the void.

Through years of soul work, I’ve begun to step into my true nature.

I am a son of God. I have nothing to apologize for. I know who I am—and I stand, as best I can, unshakable in that knowing.

How About You, Brother?

Where do you feel powerless?

Where are you still giving your power away?

What would it look like to awaken your inner power… and be the man you know you were created to be?

I won’t pretend the journey is easy.

Mine has been filled with self-inflicted wounds—emotional and physical.

But I’m learning to transcend the sabotage. To alchemize the suffering.

That is what a man of Presence does.

He evolves his soul, heals his pain, and helps others do the same.

I’m honored to walk this sacred path with you.

We are not here to play small.

We are here to awaken.

Together.

Stay tuned for Part II next Tuesday.

To your inner power,

Troy Ismir

Inner Power Coach

Mentor.Guide.Coach