When Golf Becomes the Teacher: Lessons From the Dojo

What a difficult encounter on the golf course taught me about judgment, compassion, and staying true to myself.

“Is golf the teacher you’ve been waiting for? Could golf be the guide that leads you back to who you truly are?”

When I wrote those words on the back cover of my book, Presence Golf: A Sacred Path to Self-Mastery, I wasn’t entirely sure what they meant.

I didn’t know exactly how golf would become my teacher or help me discover more of my true Self.

But as I continue spending time in the dojo, my sacred space on the golf course, it’s becoming clearer.

Every round, every practice, golf is showing me where I give my power away and revealing the way back to my true Self.

When Someone Else’s Energy Becomes Mine

Recently, I played a round with someone I had never met before.

From the beginning, I found this person difficult to connect with.

There wasn’t much conversation. Very little warmth. No smiles that I noticed.

I could feel myself becoming uncomfortable.

I wasn’t enjoying the round, even though I was playing with other people whose company I normally enjoy.

And that’s when I realized something.

I was allowing someone else’s way of being to determine my own.

I was judging this person for not showing up the way I wanted them to.

Later in the round, the person stopped playing, and I immediately felt lighter.

My energy shifted.

I relaxed.

I started playing better golf.

I even made a commitment to myself that I wouldn’t play with this person again.

Back Into the Arena

But my Teacher had something else in mind.

“Oh hell yes you are. Get back in the arena. Do your own work.”

And wouldn’t you know it, I found myself paired with this person again.

This time, I asked my Teacher a different question.

What am I here to learn?

The answer came quietly.

Enjoy the round no matter who you’re playing with.

Let this person be who they are.

And you be who you are.

Stop judging.

You don’t know what this person is experiencing or what they might be going through.

See them with compassion.

You share a love for golf. Start there.

A Different Way of Showing Up

So I made a commitment.

I was going to enjoy the round independent of anything outside myself.

I wasn’t going to try to change this person.

I wasn’t going to make them bad or wrong.

I was simply going to show up as my true Self and allow them to do the same.

And something beautiful happened.

At the end of the round, as I reached out my hand on the 18th green, this person gave me the warmest, kindest hug.

I didn’t expect it.

It was a beautiful moment.

And it reminded me how little we sometimes know about the people we encounter.

The Lesson

For much of my life, I’ve had a tendency to absorb the energy of those around me.

I’m beginning to see that I don’t have to.

I can be compassionate without taking on someone else’s emotional state.

I can allow others to be themselves without judging them.

And I can choose how I show up, regardless of how others show up.

My work isn’t to change the people around me. My work is to bring the highest expression of my true Self to each moment, as best I can.

On the golf course.

And off.

That is Presence Golf.

That is Presence Life.

Reflection

Who or what are you allowing to determine your inner state? And what might change if you simply allowed others to be themselves while remaining true to who you are?