The End of Trying: Finding Freedom in Inner Surrender

I was playing nine casual holes with my daughter and another couple we were paired with, deep into my 30-day no scorecard challenge. The round was relaxed, no pressure, just golf. From tee to green I was striping it — and then it happened. One tiny chip shot, two feet off the green, and my whole game collapsed.

Normally, with my chip yip struggles, I putt from just about anywhere. I’ve become pretty damn good at putting from the fringe or even bumping a hybrid just to avoid the shame of a disastrous chip.

But this time, I set up with my sand wedge. I went through my routine. And then… I felt it. The eyes. Real or imagined, it didn’t matter. I felt everyone’s energy, even from my daughter, who has never once judged me. My body stiffened. My mind raced.

I hit it. And I T.C. Chen’d it. A double-hit chip — infamous since the 1985 U.S. Open when T.C. Chen lost the tournament because of it. The rulebook says it’s no longer a penalty. But I penalized myself with shame.

My daughter smiled and asked, “What was that?” I shrugged it off. On the outside, I looked calm. On the inside, I was boiling with frustration. How the hell is this still happening? I’m trying so damn hard.

The Trying Game

The next day I went to the chipping green, determined. I was going to block out the world and practice like a monk. Hat pulled down. Tunnel vision. Inner focus only.

Except it didn’t go that way.

The practice green was packed. Every swing of someone else’s wedge felt like it cut into my own nervous system. I tried a technique from one of the short-game gurus. For every one chip I “got right,” I bladed or shanked five. The harder I tried, the worse it got. I walked away angry, tail between my legs.

That next morning in meditation, I heard it:

“Surrender.”

Let go. Stop trying. Get to the end of yourself.

The Inner Surrender Shift

I went back to the course the next day with a different mindset. No proving. No forcing. Just awareness.

I told myself: Get out of your own damn way.

I chipped for an hour. I didn’t try. I simply allowed my body’s wisdom to take over. Out of maybe 50 chips, two were poor. The rest were simple, easy, and effortless. I felt joy, freedom, and lightness.

It hit me — I’ve been doing this in every area of my life. Even with good intentions, I grind, I force, I prove. It’s gotten me success, but at a price. Sacrifice. Suffering. Shame.

When I surrendered — not quit, not gave up, but surrendered — I found freedom. I got to the end of my little self. I let my soul take over.

The soul knows. The soul intuits. Even how to hit a damn chip shot.

My Brother…

Where in your life are you over-trying to prove your worthiness? Where are you exhausting yourself with overthinking, overanalyzing, and overcompensating?

I don’t know about you, but I’m done with that way of living. It’s draining.

I’m moving forward with surrender. Trust. Conviction. I’m learning to let the Divine work through me — in golf, in life, in love. I still have to show up. I still have to give effort. But I don’t have to force.

I can live in awareness. I can play in the present moment. I can stop judging the outcome.

That is radical freedom. That is Presence.

Brother, give it a try. Stop trying so hard to do it right. Trust your Self. See what happens.