The External Rhythm Doesn’t Have to Become My Internal Rhythm: Lessons from the Dojo

A round of golf reminded me that I don’t have to let the pace, pressure, or people around me determine my inner state.

I played a new course recently under less than perfect conditions.

I was paired with two beginners. We fell behind pace. The marshal came by. The GPS screen on the cart kept reminding us we were behind.

And slowly, I started carrying all of it.

We’re behind.

We need to hurry.

They’re taking too long.

Here comes the marshal again.

My attention wasn’t entirely on golf anymore.

It was everywhere else.

The Opposite Disruption

A couple of weeks earlier, I experienced almost the exact opposite.

A charity tournament started behind us and the course became painfully slow. We waited between shots, sometimes for long stretches.

I became frustrated because everything was moving too slowly.

This time, I became frustrated because we weren’t moving fast enough.

Different circumstances.

Same disturbance.

That’s what caught my attention afterward.

Maybe my challenge wasn’t really slow play or fast play.

Maybe it was my need for the external rhythm of the round to be the way I wanted it to be.

Returning to My Own Rhythm

Of course, pace of play matters.

But I realized I don’t need to carry the pace of an entire group around inside my nervous system for four hours.

The marshal comes by?

Handle it.

The cart says we’re behind?

Okay.

The group ahead is slow?

Okay.

And then, next shot.

The external rhythm doesn’t have to determine my internal rhythm.

Just Golf

My score wasn’t stellar that day.

There were several penalty strokes and a rough finish.

But I’m trying not to make the score mean too much.

What interests me more is what the round revealed.

I don’t need to control the pace.

I don’t need to control the people around me.

I don’t even need the experience to unfold the way I imagined it would.

I can simply play what is in front of me.

Just golf.

That was the lesson.

And once again, the golf course gave me exactly the practice I needed.

Reflection

When the world around you changes its rhythm, can you remain connected to your own?